42. Is it a lot? Is it a little?

Last Tuesday was my birthday. I turned 42. I had a good day, in fact, I had a good week. I now celebrate for at least a week, big birthdays get the entire month. Why? Well, as we get older there are fewer and fewer birthdays to look forward to, so I believe we should celebrate more. I don’t have that many birthdays left, I’m possibly already over the halfway mark. So each extra year is a blessing. Also, and I’ll only ever admit this here… I quite enjoy having a fuss made over me. So Tuesday I had coffee with two girlfriends and then I went to the spa with a group of other girlfriends and had lunch with them and got presents and cake. I got flowers from the Ex and a really sweet message from Shawty who clearly still needs a lesson on what is expected of him on my bday… but he’ll learn. I spent the evening with my children and the Ex and that was lovely.

I celebrated Wednesday and Friday as well, I’m honestly really lucky to have the friends I have. Saturday Shawty took me out to dinner and that deserves a post all to itself.

  1. Is it a lot? Is it a little?

I feel like I’m still in my thirties. Early thirties at that. I feel like I want more children, like I want to do so many things, like I could reinvent my life at any moment. And often I wonder if I’m simply being delusional. I’m right at the cusp of not being able to have more children. I’m also in a place where who would I even have them with?

Reinventing my life, now that’s easier, I don’t believe there’s an expiration date on that. Not like my traitorous body that will soon decide it’s done with the whole reproduction thing. This year has been interesting, bittersweet, but full of newness and hope and quite a bit of crazy. I’m starting to feel alive again, hopeful, energetic, I’m looking forward again. I’ve started feeling like a woman again, I’ve lost oodles of weight, I feel prettier, better, healthier, more attractive.

A lot of that is Shawty. Which really makes you think about the impact sex actually has on our lives and our well-being. But that’s another post in and of itself .

42… I can barely believe it. It seems like a lot, but it’s not is it? Barring a tragedy that frankly could befall any of us at any time so it doesn’t bear thinking about, I have quite a bit of life left to live. Deciding what to do with it is the difficult part, and the fun part.

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