Tag Archives: monday listicles

Monday Listicles – the macabre one

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I can hardly believe that the only thing I wrote on the blog the entire week was Stasha’s Monday Listicle. Well at least I’ve got something to keep me writing; it’s like a compulsion, but not a scary obsessive one.This week’s listicle inspired by Mannahattamamma, based on Nora Ephron’s list of what she will miss and what she won’t, is a teensy bit macabre, yet also, right up my alley, as I’m always thinking of what would happen if I were to shuffle off this mortal coil.

Ten things I wouldn’t miss

1. Traffic

2. Rude people

3. Dirty bathrooms

4. Bad TV

5. Listening to people talk in the morning

6. Shoveling snow

7. Sweating

8. Ticking clocks

9. Fear

10. Spiders and Cockroaches

Ten things I would miss

1. My loves: the Boy, the Girl, and the Husband

2. My family

3. The perfect yoga lesson

4. The feeling of possibility and hope

5. Driving with loud music

6. Dancing

7. The sea

8. Books

9. Good TV

10. Dreams – awake and asleep

Ah, the hell with it, I couldn’t stop at ten:

11. Nutella

12. Snuggling in my bed

13. Kisses – friendly ones, slobbery baby ones, passionate ones, tentative ones, loving ones, even perfunctory ones.

14. The perfect peace of when I’m alone, doing my thing, late at night, no one to see, nothing to do.

15. Autumn leaves

16. Thanksgiving

17. Seeing my children turn into adults

I could go on and on with the things I would miss, but the more I write the achier I feel in my chest. Honestly, I think the worst thing that could possibly happen to me would be to know I’m dying ahead of time, it would be torture, hell on earth. In fact, I think I’d probably miss the things I wrote I wouldn’t miss too! On the one hand I’ve always thought I’d want to know, so I could prepare my loved ones, so I could tie loose ends, so I could write letters and give advice and direction where needed, but really no one can actually do those things. Better to just go suddenly, poof. But of course, as the Husband’s illness taught us, we have no control over these things, we die when we die and we live while we’re living. And we write lists on Mondays.

Monday Listicles – The totally random edition

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This week for Monday Listicles Stasha asked us ten completely random questions, so here’s probably more information than you ever would have wanted about me since I am physiologically incapable of giving short, to the point, answers.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, and find line 4. What is it?

I had a hard time figuring out which was the book nearest to me, as my bedside table is always overflowing with books but this one was the first one to fall off the pile as I approached it: The Lost Art of Real Cooking by K. Albala and R. Nafziger

“our favorite ways for cooking with fresh and bountiful vegetables.”

2. How many times a day do you say Hi?

Not as often as those who live in an English-speaking country… I counted 32 the other day, a surprising amount considering I only say hi to my two kids, rarely to the husband and to a few English-speaking friends here.

3. Have you ever worn a uniform?

Except for a very brief stint in public school (fifth grade) I have always worn a uniform, my very first uniform (when I was five and six years old) was a white Oxford skirt, grey and burgundy striped tie (yes, a tie), burgundy sweater, grey pleated skirt, grey socks, dark blue shoes and navy blazer – please take a moment to imagine that. Yes, my parents were mean. And also, yes, the school was British. For junior high and high school my uniform wasn’t much better but at least I didn’t have to wear a tie.

4. What do you think about the most?

Depressingly, my kids. Or food. Or food for my kids. Also, I think about poop way more often than is necessarily healthy. Occasionally, I also think about a hot, young, rich, well endowed, sex god-like man who falls madly in love with me and whisks me away on secret, wildly passionate and romantic getaways (who is not into freaky s&m mind-control crap with stalker-like tendencies).

5. How many keys are on your key ring?

I had to go look at my key ring to check. Who doesn’t know what keys are on their key ring?? I now have seven keys: door key, little gate key, big gate key, garage key, mail box key and two gate keys for the new house (i.e. barn we’re attempting to turn into a house).

6. What was the last thing you bought?

I am on a shopping hiatus, I can only buy stuff for the kids and as I’ve already done all of their clothes and shoes shopping the only things I’m buying lately are depressingly mundane, like groceries. So probably the last thing I bought was milk, or eggs, as we seem to consume eggs by the truckload. I may, in fact, have to invest in a couple of hens. Though I may first need to come to terms with the concept of chicken shit.

7. Are you growing anything these days?

Since it’s the beginning of summer I’m growing plenty:

and today I found this:

fledgling eggplant

8. What is under your bed?

Mostly nothing, not even dust bunnies as I have allergies. Occasionally a baseball bat, its presence is directly related to how paranoid I am at any given moment.

9. What is most important in life?

Love + health = happiness

10. What is the strangest word you used this week?
 

This is a tough one, as I regularly use strange, archaic, or completely made up words, this week I did find myself describing someone as having an “Agamemnon complex”. I may, possibly, have made this condition up.

Things that make you go hmmm… Monday Listicles

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It’s Monday, and I just couldn’t resist Stasha’s listicle this week, courtesy of Erin, one half of the Sisterhood of Sensible Moms (the other half is Ellen): ten things that make you go hmmmm… Go check out the post in which she announces the topic, there’s video, and though she said not to watch it, or rather, because she said not to watch it, I did, and guess what I’ve been humming all day now? Thanks Erin, I’m stuck in the nineties and it’s my own damn fault!

So 10 things that make me go hmmmm…

1. the dog stroller. Really?

2. old ladies with pink hair. Why?

3. a child’s inability to understand the word no, despite the fact that for many of them it’s the first word said.

4. men driving fiat 500s. Don’t they want to have sex?

5. thongs. If I’m wearing panties, I’m wearing panties, if you definitely can’t see a panty line chances are I’m not wearing any, it just feels more honest this way.

6. vanilla ice cream with lots of hershey’s syrup. Hhhhhmmmmmm

7. a cold coke on a hot day.

8. Fifty Shades. I read all three, I simply cannot tear myself away from a series; I hated every one, whilst simultaneously desperately lusting after Christian Grey and wanting to stab him repeatedly (and not in a sexy s&m way). They are really, really bad, don’t read them. (if I’ve offended you with this opinion I have a review coming up that explains my sentiments)

9. my bed. It’s my haven, it’s perfect, I never want to leave it.

10. Ryan Gosling. He actually makes me go hmm, hmmm, hmmmm

Now, if only I could get that damn song out of my head!

Monday Listicles – Home sweet home

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I’m at a bit of a loss with Stasha’s listicles this week, ten words that describe your home… because we just recently bought what will someday soon become our very first home that we own and not rent. But right now, it’s not much of a house. So do I describe my future home, now that I’m a proud homeowner, or do I describe the house I’ve been renting for the past six years, where my kids were born and that is currently my “home”. Hmmm…. Maybe a little bit of both….

First a look to the past:

1. family – the house we live in now is where we started our family

2. bittersweet – I’m a little sad that this house that holds so many memories isn’t our homestead

3. adulthood – though the husband and I had lived together in two other apartments prior to this house, this is the one we actually tried to turn into a home, our first home as adults (took us long enough!)

4. fear – though this house is in no way to blame, we’ve lived some wonderful and some terrifying moments in it, so I hope that leaving it behind will also symbolically mean leaving behind the husband’s illness.

5. leaky pipes – I’ll be very happy to forget all about them!

And then a look to the future:

1. Very, very old stable cause that’s what my future home is today, built in the seventeenth century it was a house for horses, and the top floor was a house for stable boys.

2. ruin – like the ancient ruins, literally.

3. blood, sweat and tears – which is actually three words but it’s the idea that I’d like to convey of what it’s going to take to turn it into a home.

4. dream – the Husband and I have been looking at houses/apartments/land to buy for the last 10 years but never found anything that suited us.

5. compromise – because this house won’t be the perfect house, our quest for the perfect house has ended, now we own an actual, real house (or we will once we’re done renovating.)

Link up for Monday listicles!

Ten things husbands should do

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I’m joining in with Stasha’s listicles today because the subject intrigued me… 10 things husbands should do… My first thought was: only ten? But then I started really thinking about what I should write, ten things I want my husband to do that he doesn’t? ten things I think all husbands should do? ten things my husband does that I think are wonderful? (snort). And then I decided I was totally over-thinking this and wrote down the first ten things I came up with.

Oh and also: Though I use “he” our “you” I’m not referring to anyone in particular, just a generic “husband” any similarity to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental.

1. I take care of the house, you’re in charge of anything on wheels. (this includes, but is not limited to: washing the cars and getting them detailed, taking care of all car bureaucracy, putting air in the tires – of cars, bicycles, motorcycles etc, getting oil changes, changing snow tires, and making sure all insurance is up to date.)

2. The killing of insects and removal of their carcasses. (I cannot stress the second point enough)

3.  Taking over child management duties on the very rare occasions the wife is ill.

4. Dealing with the mess of wires behind the tv and household desks.

5. Doing the house perimeter check when the bloody house alarm won’t come on because one of the “barriers” is “active”, invariably at night.

6. Scraping the scuzz of the hot grill before I have to wash it.

7. Putting your own clothes away. (a girl can dream…)

8. Actually listening when going over the family schedule for the week, or alternatively, not going over it at all and just remembering to check the very large and color-coded calendar in the kitchen. (Room where one cooks).

9. If one of the kids has been screaming bloody murder, for over 30 seconds and no one’s intervened I’m probably in the bathroom. Go check on them.

10. Occasional foot and or back rubs, like once or twice a month, it could really be beneficial for both parties, gratitude can go a long way… just saying.

I know I made a mess of pronouns on here, but half the time I wasn’t even sure who I was talking about. Although, to be fair, my husband is rather good about several of these… and the ones he needs to work on are pretty obvious.

What do you think husbands should do? I’d love to read your opinion in the comments, or if you’re up to it join in with the linky at Northwest Mommy!

Toodles, M